This journal runs on a commitment; a commitment to myself that I would write something to my future self once a week – something I’ve learned or an insight I’ve had. I began the practice because I found it useful in helping me learn and grow as an artist and a human. A weekly reflection, so to speak.
The truth is, I didn’t write last week. In fact, this journal project was the furthest thing from my mind for the past fortnight. Why? Because there were more important things to deal with – a family health crisis that needed my full and undivided attention for a while. The crisis moment is over but it’s likely that the next few months, maybe years, will need more attention than I’ve given it in the past; and I value that more than this journal.
If one starts searching, ‘How to be a successful or productive artist’, it won’t take anyone very long to come across what I call ‘no matter what’ commitments. These are artists or business people who say that the only way to be ‘successful’ or make progress with your art is to “Write a page a day, a chapter a night, keep a sketchbook, do a doodle in the morning… no. matter. what.”
But, I’m not sure anyone really means that though. After all, every person is different – we’ve all got varying levels of actual no-matter-what commitments already; meeting mortgage repayments or paying off student debts, putting food on the table, caring for the ones we love or like, investing in our physical health through exercise and eating good food – all these things take time, energy, and attention and, let’s be frank, are more fundamental to our physiological existence than writing a page a day.
I used to think this journal was my no-matter-what commitment. That’s kind of how it started. And, to be fair to the no-matter-what evangelists, the idea of that commitment has had benefits. But, when it comes down to it, our no-matter-what commitments are fundamentally driven by our values – the things we feel are most important to us at any given time. Right now, for me, that’s providing support to a family that needs it.
This all doesn’t mean I won’t journal regularly – after all, I’m doing it right now – it’s useful for my mental health to write things down and, through this practice, discover and embody what I’ve learned. But if the point of this journal is to help me learn and grow as an artist and a human, maybe, sometimes, I can achieve the same thing by simply being – investing my time and attention in the things that are truly most important to me. Surely paying attention to those things, no matter what, won’t just help me be a person I want to be, but might also turn me into a better artist, too.