Making big life choices can be difficult, especially when they’re about something ‘big’ like a career. How does one decide between being a Wall Street Banker or being an Artist? Those things aren’t directly comparable. There is no pros and cons list that will help me decide which of those is the ‘better’ choice.
Maybe the choice to be a Banker errs on the side of financial security? It’s not guaranteed but it’s more likely. Also more likely is that I’d be tied to a city job. I’d have a certain type of social network. I’d likely have to wear expensive suits, eat at particular restaurants, attend particular types of functions. That’s what it takes to be part of that culture. Maybe I love banking and numbers but also, maybe I don’t. Do I sacrifice my day-to-day enjoyment of the work hours for the promise of not having to worry about whether I can pay the bills this month?
The choice to pursue Art has different outcomes. Less financial security, that’s for sure. And without that, I’d have to watch what I buy, where I live, how much my bills are, etc. I’d spend a lot more energy on managing money but maybe the act of creating art gets me in a blissful flow state; a state I’m unlikely to get from working on Wall Street, and that’s ‘worth it.’
Assuming, for a moment, that this choice is a binary one (I’ve argued before that it doesn’t have to be), trying to choose what’s ‘better’ just doesn’t work. There is another way to frame it.
Time, and the everyday choices we make, change who we are. We can choose to help the lady who spilt a bag of oranges in the shopping mall car park or we can walk straight past. That choice helps define the next one. And the one after that. Soon enough, within a year, we’ve made thousands of choices and, a year later, we’re a different person. People say it all the time, and I know that if I reflect on a personal level, the person I was at 7 years old, 16 years old, 20 years old and now my current age are all remarkably different people.
And so, if we do change in this way, it follows that we will be a different person tomorrow, 3 years, 5 years, even 10 years from now. The question, then, isn’t “What do I want to be?” or “Do I want to be a Banker or an Artist” because that assumes the “I” isn’t fluid or malleable. No, we need to acknowledge that there will be different people up ahead, defined by each small choice we make every day, and we get to choose, every day, in the smallest way, which of those people up-ahead that we want to step a little bit closer, too. We may meet the Banker or we may meet the Artist, or maybe there’s something that our today-self didn’t even know about that tomorrow-self discovers. That discovery? That’s the fun bit.