About 6 years ago, I made a promise to myself: to write down something I learned about me or my art practice once a week. To create a commitment and space in my week for self-reflection. To ensure I was truly learning from my experiences. To prevent myself from repeating past mistakes. As part of this commitment, I started this online journal. A public space to keep myself ‘accountable’ to my promise.
Until last year, I posted here weekly and religiously. But things have changed. I still journal (in fact, I’m journalling twice a week now) but the posting has become secondary. I used to feel that what I wrote or made wasn’t ‘finished’ until it was shared, but that’s not true anymore.
The act of creating and the act of sharing are two different things. I used to be much more driven by the sharing. The reaction to what I shared used to be a strong source of motivation. But these days, writing private notes to myself is enough.
So why bother share at all then? Why not keep it all private from here on out? There’s still a part of me that believes that sharing one’s ideas – in words, images, music, or whichever medium one chooses – is still a deeply human act of vulnerability, generosity, and courage. These are values and habits I want to cultivate in myself and demonstrate the value of to others. Sharing is still important to me, just for different reasons from when I first began. And that’s OK. In fact, it was kind of the point all along.