No matter how much I draw, whenever I sit down to the blank page, it’s difficult. It’s difficult to get started, difficult to think about what to draw, difficult to trust in my ability to draw it and, therefore, difficult to feel like there’s any point at all. That feeling, 7 years into a professional illustration career, hasn’t gone away. I suspect it never will.
But, what I’ve learned in those 7 years is that almost everything hinges on the first mark. Not whether it’s a good or bad mark, but just a mark. If I can get to the first mark, those other questions go away and now the conversation is just between me and the page. It works even better if the first mark is with something I can’t rub out with an eraser as soon as I make it.
Why the first mark? Because it’s feedback. Sure, it might be a crap mark, but the next one will better because I won’t repeat the first one (at least not exactly the same). With a first mark, I’ve learned something. With a second one something else. And, like a fencing match, the page and I parry back and forth until suddenly, almost without noticing, I’ve filled a page of my sketchbook… and then another… and then another.
No mark-marking is ever wasted, but boy it can be difficult getting to that first one – even after seven years and counting.