I have more ideas than time in my life to write or draw them – to turn them into something that someone else can experience, consume, consider, and use. And, whilst making something for someone else isn’t the only motivation to make something, it’s certainly an important factor when I prioritise something. Sure, the work I make helps me, but will it also help someone else? The former criterion is art, the latter, a service. If that’s true, then art is inherently a selfish act, a service to one’s self. Whilst work for others is an act of generosity; my time for your experience.
Can a selfish act also be generous?
I tell myself I am a generous person – that I prioritise the wellbeing of others within safe limits of my own wellbeing. Living by this criteria has provided me with wonderful relationships and experiences I wouldn’t have otherwise had. It gives me the feeling of being in service to something greater than myself. But, because of this, it also prevents me from prioritising art. Work that is in service of just one person – me.
But, in the very few cases I have prioritised art – work that is only for me – there have been unexpected consequences. Others have engaged with it and have been moved, changed, and healed. Others have been confused, underwhelmed, unsettled. A service provides a generally positive feeling to many, art provokes a generally polarising reaction – intense but different.
In a world where algorithms are flattening and homogenising our experiences; maybe there’s enough work being done as a service. Maybe it’s time to start being a little more selfish; to find the edges of what it means to feel human and provoke intense and deep emotions, positive or negative, before we forget how to feel. A selfish act that, when offered to the world, becomes an act of generosity.