Why is it that I’ll drop $2000AUD on a company director’s course, no questions asked, but I struggle to think about me as investment. Is it because I don’t give myself a certificate at the end so it’s more difficult to imagine having something to show for it? Or that even if I did, anyone that would care?
I’ve now been working professionally, as an illustrator, for almost a decade. I’ve published over 20 books, won some awards along the way, have sold foreign rights and have worked with almost every publisher of children’s books in Australia. And yet, I struggle to invest in myself.
I know this work isn’t financially sustainable for the lifestyle we’ve chosen, but I also know I could do more to improve that.
Typically, a business will invest in itself to grow. Amazon didn’t turn a profit in its first 10 years or so – the money it made went back into the business to make it better/faster/stronger – in the corporate world it’s called ‘research and development’. And whilst I hate to use Amazon as an example, it’s a simple and obvious one – whether it’s been a net positive for the world is a whole other thought.
Do artists need to be ‘better/faster/stronger’ though? For an artist, the only competition we have is ourselves. Perhaps instead of using classic capitalist metrics, the investment we need to make in ourselves is something different – what if the investment led to more beauty, more heart, more humour, and more hope in my work and in the world? If there was a course I could take that would give me that, what would I pay? Why wouldn’t I pay myself?
I’ve completed two May Gibbs’ Fellowships in recent years – a month away from home, with no income but plenty of time. These fellowships cost me about $10,000 each in lost wages. But, each time, they have borne fruit that wasn’t immediately obvious and yet they did bare fruit. It wasn’t an immediate payback but any good business person knows that we need to invest in short, medium, and long term strategies for a healthy and sustainable businesses.
If one can pay the bills and invest in more heart, humour, and hope, why wouldn’t they?