I recently worked out that I’ll only be able to read about 300 more novels in my lifetime if I keep going at my current rate. Assuming I live to 80 (the current life expectancy for a male in Australia), and working at a rate of, on average, 1 or 2 books per year, I’ll be able to produce, probably, 50 more picture books – and that’s even if publishers continue to exist, and that those publishers continue to feel like my work is sellable for a profit. (As an aside, I don’t like those chance).
I can’t scale me. Nor do I want to. And so, if I’ve only got 50 more books in me, what does it mean for the importance of each one? Should I pick and choose carefully? How do I make a decision about what to work on? Is it better to be published even though it’s work that may not answer the questions that I need art to answer for me? Or, do I double-down on a private relationship with drawing and mark-making to see what sort of person I become through it, whether someone buys it or not? Right now, I’m leaning to the latter but the allure of recognition and validation of ‘good’ work (aka marketable, profit-making work) is a difficult thing to shake – and I haven’t got long to decide.
