April 16, 2024

Some days are for numbers

It’s easy to think that if I didn’t draw today, I’m not working my hardest. After all, time on this Earth is limited and I already know I have more projects I’d like to complete and not enough time to complete them before I’m dead.

But some days, the thought of sitting down and drawing is more difficult than others. I’m not talking about the days where I know if I can just get started, things will emerge. No, the days I’m talking about are different. Sometimes, the muscles of imagination and lateral thinking are simply tired.

So, instead of feeling bad about this – like I’m some sort of failure as an artist or not ‘keeping up’ with what it means to be a professional artist – I turn to numbers. Doing accounts, doing budgeting, processing receipts; all these things are necessary to do anyway, so, I tell myself, I’m still working, I’m just listening to what my body and brain needs, first.

It’s not an easy balance. Sometimes, those numbers days are actually just an excuse for procrastination. Doing numbers (or any procedural task) gives me a sense of forward progress and motion that, sometimes, creative work does not. Creative work often needs a bit of back and forth – some iteration to make progress eventually.

On the days I don’t feel like drawing, I need to ask myself – am I avoiding the difficult work? Or, is my body telling me it’s time to rest and come back stronger when it’s ready, willing and able?

Other observations
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The preparation ritual

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October 22, 2024

Critically unacclaimed

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