There are two ways to approach a person with whom we disagree, dislike, or with whom we’re storming.
The first way is to assume they’re stupid, or dumb, or toxic, or all of the above. In this mode, the easiest and most productive course of action is to walk away because, with this view, it’s the other who has to change, not us. No one enjoys being around people they detest, and life’s too short to live it in conflict. After all, there are plenty of other people in the world to spend time with who will agree with us on anything, and everything we think is true.
The second way is to assume that everyone is just doing their best. That everyone we interact with has had their own unique and diverse set of experiences that have shaped their values, their view of the world, and the relationships that they form. It requires us to believe that most people are not inherently stupid, dumb, or toxic, but that we learn behaviours based on our experiences. It requires open-mindedness and curiosity to seek the context of each other’s existence so that we can understand where the other is coming from and why. It’s only through understanding this that we can seek to change the only thing that’s under our control – our own behaviour – so that we can form relationships that are positive and beneficial for ourselves and others, no matter who the other is.